Adventure | car backdoors

Ford Fiesta Defect: Whopper Knockers When Side Doors Open

NOTICE: Sudden Unexpected Failure Of Ford Fiesta 2012 Car Door Latching Mechanisms.

The following is intended for immediate release (07-07-2014) as a public service warning about a potential Ford Fiesta 2012 defect. Sudden and unexpected failures of Ford Fiesta car door latching mechanisms has been reported to Ford Motor Company. This author has personal knowledge that this failure has occurred in at least 1 known and verified Ford Fiesta vehicle so far. If your car door will not close or latch read this notice.

To date failures have occurred in both rear side passenger doors. Failure of these two latching mechanisms were nearly simultaneous and actually may have been. Vehicle owner believes the duplicate failures to be connected in some way. The failures were sudden and without warning. There were no pre-failure indications. No sticking, closing, shutting or latch rotation issues… just sudden latch failure for each door. Are these defective Ford Fiesta door latches a RECALL waiting to happen?

WARNING: Do NOT allow anyone to ride in your Ford Fiesta without fastening their seatbelt.

This potential highway traffic safety hazard should be taken very seriously even though further elaboration of this notice is heavy with humor.

Driving Miss Knockers

Normally we would ‘Not’ expect an otherwise smooth ultra sleek vehicle with undamaged body, that is about as streamlined as a polished and waxed bullet, to be lik’ened to sporting a pair of knockers. But in this case the bizarre fits. Those knockers really are whoppers and those whoppers really are knockers. My racy Fiesta now sports a pair of unharnessed latch-less Double D Rear Side Door Knockers due to defect. Not just one but both doors have malfunctioning door latches. Could this be a coincidence? I seriously doubt it.

When are Ford Fiesta doors NOT doors? When they are defective and remain ajar they become hit or “Miss Knockers”

Killer Whopper Knockers!

These naughty knockers can kill and make it look like an accident. What I’m really talking about here is unbridled doors engaging in free swinging backdoor action. My Ford Fiesta’s pair of flapping backside driver and passenger doors just won’t hook-up even though they swing freely. They do it without protection. They have no shame, no sense of decency, and absolutely no concern for the safety of others. This little gal is dangerous! I am very thankful that one of my grand kids was not resting against one of her trap-doors when a latch failed!

Doors On My Fiesta Refuse To Take A Siesta

Normally our experience with car doors leads us to believe they are failsafe! They shut and remain shut. They latch closed and remain closed. Undamaged car doors can be locked closed to siesta securely in place. But NOT the 2 rear side trap-doors on my Ford. Her doors are double D-fective and busted.

“Her knockers are steely hard swingers… able to whop, knock, and whack whomever and whatever is in their path”

Miss Knockers (my nick for my Ford Fiesta) is doors-out for attention. This street stalker knows how to trollop the streets. She is an exhibitionist with an uninhibited open backdoor policy. Flaunting her “Double Defective doors” she will flash and expose her rear seat to anyone and everyone while parading along the highway.

Risk

Not wanting to be taken for a ride and wanting to avoid further risk, I must look into my auto insurance policy. I need to determine whether my backdoor swingers are covered or if I need a rider to hold harmlessly against my sweetheart’s promiscuous backdoor behavior.

Bound To Achieve Temporary Fix

With behavior like this she was asking for it. So, I decided to give it to her. To let her know who’s boss I changed into my ‘mechanics uniform’ which just happens to be confidently embroidered with the name “Master“. I won’t go into details here but suffice it to say, I tied her doors closed and said goodbye to those whopper ass-kicking killer door knockers.

Warranty Repair Request

With only 35,772 miles on Miss Knockers when the door latches failed this matter is still currently (07-07-2014) in the hands of Ford Motor Company warranty request case #CAS-4651084-H7G4M8 and my closest Authorized Ford Dealer, Colorado River Ford in Kingman Arizona. A complaint was also filed with the NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) Office of Defects Investigation, confirmation number (ODI Number) is: 10607751

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Ford Defect Warning: The Mysterious Ford Fiesta Double D’s

Despite her sexy aerodynamic styling and high mpg rating, all the while delivering very feisty performance, my Ford Fiesta has serious backdoor problems. I call them the “Double D’s”. She may be easy, light on the gas, and spew little form her tailpipe, but she cannot holster her dancing rear side doors.

“These big free swinging flappers just bounce right back in your face!”

As if it’s not rude enough for her backdoor to remain wide open seat exposed, she cannot holster either of her backside passenger wing-like doors. The snatch of the latch does not catch. *See photo at end of article. Neither of my Ford Fiesta’s rear passenger doors will latch closed. Both door latches are fully “busted” and those broken car doors won’t stay shut. Short of bondage, her racy flip-flop flappers just won’t stop swaying in the breeze no matter what I try. They just won’t stay harnessed.

The Mysterious Double D-fects

My racy Ford has quite the pair of Double D’s! Double defects that is. My babe is dangerous! Her swinging “double d” troubles have the potential to kill.

You wouldn’t want to get whacked by one of her firm flappers while her 4 rough riding tread hugging rubbers stalk the road. Although she has only been riding for 35,772 miles, her endurance a virtue, my feisty Fiesta is a hazard to herself as well as others.

Here comes the mystifying part. She is such a newish 2012 Model Ford Fiesta with no accidents, a young shapely undamaged body, and no evidence of assaults, bruising, or as much as a dented gash in her vibrant blue hued skin. How did this otherwise voluptuous appearing vehicle acquire 2 malfunctioning door latch mechanisms within 12 hours of each other? Especially when you take into account that 1 backdoor saw little ingress egress activity? I can testify to the fact that fares seldom danced in and out of THAT rear door.

It seems like there is some sort of interdependent failure involved? Should I worry that if she suffers a blowout on her front left tire that to complete the job she might feel compelled to blow one of the others? If her front windshield gets smashed will her back window shatter out of sympathy?

Just imagine this bad-girl bouncing, bucking, riding the road with her flailing wings spread wide, seats exposed, knocking-up and whacking anyone in her path. Her racy wing-like doors unable to come to a close as she beckons in breezy gestures to be cuffed and bound before she injures herself and others.

Wings Bound With Straps On For Safety

With 2 rear doors unable to come to a close this feisty Fiesta was not ride worthy. My quick solution was to whip out a pair of soft braided ratchet tie-down straps with S-Hook ends and then strap-em-on my honey’s wavering wings. With the straps on her cinched-up snug her rear doors were closed to access, the dome lights turned off, and the LED in-dash door ajar warning with moaning complement disappeared.

After traveling 300 miles for a family birthday celebration on the very same morning the car doors malfunctioned (06-26-2014) my car had exactly 36,072 miles on it when I stopped in the Ford dealer service isle. That’s 72 miles out of warranty according to the out of town Authorized Ford Dealer I visited. They indicated Ford may not cover the door repairs unless they made an exception to the warranty.

As of 07-03-2014 this warranty issue is pending with Ford Motor Company under case #CAS-4651084-H7G4M8. A complaint has also been filed with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Office of Defects Investigation, confirmation number (ODI Number) is: 10607751.

We can:
harness the horsepower of a stallion,
harness the energy of a scorching sun,
harness the power of wild raging rivers,
but Ford cannot seem to get it right harnessing my feisty Fiesta’s pair of Double-Defective swingers.”

If Ford Motor Company does not correct these malfunctioning free flapping doors under warranty or safety recall I can’t help but feel that I am the one who will be taken for a ride!

Author’s Note:
While the prevailing tone of this article is satirical parody and innuendo (in-your-endo for those still with me here :) the reality of these malfunctioning defective doors is NOT at all humorous.

Photo Of Defective Ford Fiesta 2012 Door Latch

Defective Ford Fiesta 2012 Door Latch

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